Part of the amazing beauty of natural curls is that they do tend to get big and frizzy. However, if your hair is getting bigger or frizzier than you'd like (or matted), here are some things you can do:

A great technique to try is twirling each curl ("doodles" as my mom calls them). You can check out Aja doing this to her hair on the Before & After page, and it's stunning. This helps define every curl. She says she gets compliments all the time from people.

If your hair is too short to put in one bun or braid at night, try to put it in several of them, like the illustrations and photo of Arden in Tips for Little Ones (if you scroll down the page, they are about half-way down). The important thing is that your hair is protected at night, and the buns, twists, or braids will help calm your curls for the next day. It's best not to wet your hair at night. But if it's too short for any of those things, maybe sleep with a satin pillow case for the time being to keep your hair calm until it's long enough to put up. Even if it gets messy, that's fine, because you will refresh your curls in the morning (see below).

At night, after your hair dries, maybe put it in a braid or two to keep it smooth while you sleep, when it's long enough. This also works in a big way to "relax" our curls. This will be a big step (along with leaving in the right conditioner) that will keep your curls from "drawing up" anymore. They will always draw up a bit because they are curls, but this helps them hang more loosely. I don't sleep in a scarf or anything. While your hair is shorter, you don't need to worry about any of this. You can start putting your hair up at night when it's long enough to make some twists, braids, or buns.

To refresh in the morning:

In the morning it might look like all your curls are gone. It isn't true. For next day hair, do not comb, brush, or finger-comb your hair dry. Wet your hands, then put a little combing conditioner on them. Rub them together, then smooth them over your hair. I do my hairline, then put more water and conditioner in my hands, then my ends, then again for the whole head. And if needed, one more time to re-smooth any curls that got fuzzy or untwisted or tangled up. You may need to get individual curls pretty damp with water and the combing conditioner, and re-twist around your finger the way Aja was doing to take care of any curls that got smashed of tangled over night.

By doing this every morning, my hair lasts about a week. After you smooth them with water and conditioner (so they are just damp only), by the time they dry, your curls will be back and refreshed. You can also go over any of your little doodles that got fuzzy, smashed or untwisted while you slept, and retwist them with water and conditioner.